Not a day goes by...

June 4, 2017

Four years ago today, I was in the Provo Missionary Training Center. It was a P-day. I wrote in my journal:

"TODAY WAS GEWELDIG. My dad sent the talk "Becoming a Consecrated Missionary" finally and THEN TAD R. CALLISTER CAME TO GIVE THE DEVO on the blueprint of Christ's church it was SWEET." 

Three years ago, I was in Gouda. On that day, we were on exchanges and we did service. I felt like we had wasted too much time at the person's house post-service and then too much time in the apartment for our dinner hour. I felt really guilty and like I was being a lazy missionary. But then I remembered district meeting where we talked about "the love of God and all mankind--self included." Even Moses had weaknesses that never became strengths. All we can do is repent, and then get to work becoming better. I remember kneeling on that checkered black and white floor and saying a prayer of repentance, and then we got out and I just felt like I was being steered toward all the right places and we ended up having four lessons. I gained such a strong testimony of listening to our leaders that day. I wrote in my journal: 

"I love being a missionary.... Repentance is real and God even blesses the sinner." 

Every entry wasn't like that--there were some times that the days seemed hopeless and the clouds hung low. But the one thing that never changed was the feeling: I love being a missionary. From the day I got my tag to the day I took it off, I treasured it. And, not gonna lie, it kinda hurts knowing that I'll never wear it again. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my mission and how much I loved it. Rarely does a day pass where I don't wish I could go back. And you know what drives me crazy? People who belittle those feelings. 

Examples of things people say :

"It's not like you can't have spiritual experiences anymore"

"Your spirituality is dependent on you, not your mission"

"You can decide to let your spirituality decrease or increase--it's not dependent on your mission"

"Your mission wasn't meant to last forever, just move on" 

"Your next companion is going to be your spouse, so just go get married." 

Okay, I know that life goes on and that we can still have missionary experiences and grow spiritually after the mission. It's not the spirituality that I miss. 

It's the companions I got to be with 24/7 who laughed and cried with me. The companions I got to have "Together Forever" movie nights with and sing with while getting ready in the morning. The companions I who grew to be my closest friends--and who had to be my friend and spend time with me because we were companions ;) 

It's the district and zone meetings that brought us all together in purpose. It wasn't like church--it was a different feeling--one of unity and togetherness. 

It's the privilege of getting to preach the gospel full-time. 

It's the members! Oh, those members. I don't know if many of them even remember me with how many missionaries they've had, but those dutch members have my heart. 

It's the investigators--the people you find in the most random ways who's lessons become the highlight of your week.

It's the multiple learning experiences you get every SINGLE day because you are FORCED to take your problems head on. We can have learning experiences still, but not in the same way. 

It's the mantel; the greatest blessing I've known. I really miss wearing that tag.

It's the COUNTRY. I never thought I could feel so at home in a foreign country, but I really did. 

There is nothing like a mission. Nothing that can even be comparable to a mission. It is the most unique life experience that I will ever have. And everyone who's like me, who misses their mission, who is having a hard time moving on--even months or years afterwards--IS COMPLETELY VALIDATED IN THEIR FEELINGS. 

Even Jeffery R. Holland, a man of 76 years old, counts the months that he's been home from his mission. He's said that no one's mission meant more to them than his did to him. 

"I tell you that it was the most important thing that ever happened to me in my life, that it’s brought so many blessings that have now become important and now take their place in my life, but which would not have happened, I’m absolutely confident they would not have happened, if it had not been for the privilege of a mission."

I know my mission has shaped me in a similar way. I wasn't the best missionary, and sometimes I wish I could do it all over, but better this time. But what I learned from all my experiences was divinely inspired, and I wouldn't trade in any of them for anything.

Amazing

So this week wasn't exactly what the title implies, but it was pretty great. There was this day that we missionaries, both us sisters and the elders, were at a members house pretty much all day working in her garden. She's pretty old so she couldn't really help but it was a life changing day. We were talking a lot about good, great, and amazing. In life. In people. In families. One elder quoted a friend of his who said "being on my missions, I have seen the good families, and the great families, and then I see the families that are absolutely amazing. And I want to have a family like that. But to do that, I first have to be amazing, and I have to marry someone amazing."

The amount of talking about marriage on missions is ridiculous, but it was interesting to hear that. It made me think a lot about what kind of person I am and what I'm worthy of, so to speak. But It's interesting to be able to catch that glimpse of our eternal potential in moments like that. I was able to catch the glimpse of my own amazing-ness. And that was really something special. And I hope that when we all look in the mirror, we can all see our eternal potential as AMAZING, because we are all sons and daughters of the most AMAZING being in all the universe and we have the most amazing potential.

I love you all! you're amazing :) 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

in the right August 11

Title: In the Right

SO remember in like elementary school when the motto is like "be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing."? Well so that motto is like applicable to like everything. Especially missionary work. When you're in the right place at the right time doing the right thing, blessings come! And you are able to be used as a tool in God's hands. That's pretty cool.

Examples:

One of the days this week we thought it was going to take a while to get home, so we went home and we ended up having 30 more minutes. What would be the right thing to do? Be diligent. So we decided to walk around the block, and since we live pretty close to the centrum, there's a good amount of people outside. So we're contacting, and there's this adorable little family by the bus stop and we start talking to them and they're from Eritrea in Africa and they don't speak a lot of Dutch but the dad speaks a little more and so we talk to him and it turns out he is Christian and his family just came a few months ago and they are in the process of moving. We tell them we can help with moving and they get SO happy and say that they know God sent us and they need all the help they can get and they give us their number and say they are really looking forward to us calling and they are just such pure souls. So we call them up the next day and make an appointment for the day after that. When it comes time for the appointment, we go to their house and they aren't home :( so we call and they say they are at their other house and so tonight wont work. Sad, we go back to our bikes and I turn to my companion and say "well since we're here should we knock a few doors?" And she says "okay"so we knock some doors and nobody's interested but after like 5 or 6 doors THE WIFE OF THE FAMILY COMES HOME! And she welcomes us in and gives us a plate of cookies and she speaks a little english so we talk to her about the Restoration and have her get her bible and it was so special! We came back the next night to talk with her and her husband and it was really cool! They are the cutest little family. And it was only because of our diligence and being in the right place doing the right thing at the right time that let us be privileged to be a part of that.

Today, we came to the library to email instead of emailing at the church and we came a lot later than we normally do, too. But right when we got here, there was this man right outside who noticed us and talked to us and said he had all of the books and stuff from us and was about to get baptized a few years ago but was too busy with work and everything and he used to come to church but not anymore. We asked if he  wanted to come back and he said yes! So he gave us his address and number and said he was looking forward to seeing us.

It was incredible. Really, all we have to do is be doing the right thing, and we'll be put in the right place at the right time. That's pretty much the coolest thing.

Well I'm pretty excited for this next transfer with my new companion. She's also from Colorado! Whooo Colorado sistas! It's gonna be a blast.

Carry on and Conquer.

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

We Cannot Let the Butterflies Govern Us oct 13- no blog oct 6

Title: We Cannot Let the Butterflies Govern Us

Okay. I have been holding out on you all. Sorry I didn't blog last week. So many people to write. Not enough time. And also I haven't been letting on very much about this Sweeterlake place that I am.

I've already mentioned that it is incredible. We had a baptism yesterday and literally all I did was stand there for the picture. I was never at his house to teach an appointment because I had been on exchanges all those days, but also, the ward was so good at fellowshipping and taking care of him that we didn't even need to do anything to help him. All I did was help plan for about 3 lessons that my companion and another sister would teach him. And it's pretty humbling to see what little influence we have as missionaries in the big plan of Heavenly Father. Sometimes I get really frustrated being the companion of a Sister Training Leader because I feel like I have no purpose. I'm not the one who is in charge of the sisters, and usually I get sent to a different city to work once or twice a week or am left in my own city without my companion, and it just feels frustrating because I feel like I have no goal. But it appears that as we are submissive to the will of God despite our circumstances, he will bless us or those around us with success because of our sacrifices.

So yes, the baptismal service was so beautiful.The ward pretty much did everything--we didn't have to do a thing except make calls beforehand.This 13 year old boy put together his whole program and chose all the songs. And then he was baptized. And of course we celebrated with a cake with his face on it afterwards. I ate his ear. Yes.

We also had a sisters conference this past weekend when all the sisters in the mission came to the mission home and it was fun. We talked about priesthood and the scattering and gathering of Israel and then the sister training leaders talked about things.One of them talked about fear. In Genesis 3 we read that in the beginning Adam and Eve were in the Garden, and after they had taken of the fruit and God came back and called to Adam, he said "I heard thy voice and I was afraid." It appears that the first sign of a fallen world is fear. And excuses. She said that we cannot let the butterflies govern us. We can take a few seconds to be scared, but then we must act. We must answer the call, and not hide because we are afraid when God calls us.

I love my mission! I love how much I learn! It is so good. :)

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

Trunky or Treat?

Trunky or Treat?

This week my group went home and I have to be honest, I do not feel a single bit of sadness that I didn't get to go with them--because I LOVE being here! It is definately a TREAT to have a few more weeks in this wonderful country, with a wonderful companion, wearing this wonderful nametag. It feels so right. 

So lets talk about all of the things I would've missed if I went home last week--

1. Trunk or Treat. The American branch meets in our building and invited our ward out to trunk or treat with them. It was so cool--the Dutch got really into it. It was awesome--everybody dressed up. So much fun. 

2. On Thursday, a sister I met while I was in the MTC-- she is from Rotterdam, went to the Washington DC North mission-- and got home last Thursday and her mom let her come be our mini missionary for a few hours before she got released!!! That was so cool!! I can't believe her mom let her do that. Hah.

3. We had institute on Thursday and we brought our polish investigator and taught him to carve pumpkins and bob for apples and play egg russian roulette and it was so good! Two Halloween parties in a country that doesn't even celebrate Halloween. We asked him if he had fun and he said
(in his very heavy polish accent) "yes, I didn't know it was possible without alcohol." Hah, by the way--HE'S STOPPED DRINKING. Miracles of the atonement are seen with this man. Miracles. Really, truly. What an honor it is to see it.

4. On friday, we met with the farmer and made a baptismal date with him! Finally. That was a great lesson. 

5. Saturday we got to celebrate my 18 month mark on my mission. That was cool--how many sisters get to do that? (proabably a lot... but probably not most!)

It has been a real solid week and it's gonna be a real solid next few weeks. Make the last days the best days--that's what's gonna happen. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

I AM .......... coming home! nov 10

Title: I AM.

So this week was good! We had a lot of cancellations and some moments where motivation was a little out of sight, but we fought our way through it and did it well! We had an investigator from  Suriname make us peanut soup, we had some real good lessons, we went to Den Haag one night and split with some of their ward members to look up some members--it was really fun. I got to talking to this lady about my mission and all the things I've learned--like how hard work brings results and how no single missionary has success--we work together to bring salvation to these people and it is all in the Lord's success. I learned through talking it out that the worth of souls really is so great in the sight of God.
And then we had days where all we did was look ups and finding. But it was really cool, on Saturday, we just went out with a few names and addresses and we found some real cool people--everyone we looked up was home, we made 7appointments, and we had some real good conversations. There was this couple we stopped, and we stardted talking about the restoration with them, and the woman said "You can preach really well. You should do something with that." And then the man looks at her and goes "she is!" Haha.

And that's right, I am! How great is my calling!

Well. Only one week to go. Freaky. Well, I'm still in denial.

Tot volgend week!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

I'm going there someday -- oct 20

Title: I'm going there someday...Actually, I went there last week

Title credit: Zuster Spencer. 

So as you may have guessed from the title, last week was TEMPLE CONFERENCE! It was so good! The nice thing about living so close to the temple is that for temple conference, you can get up at the normal time and just have a nice bike ride to the temple. 15 minutes, everyone. It was wonderful. Going to the temple so seldomly really makes it a special thing when the time finally comes around again to go. And it was so good to see my old companions and be able to talk to them and have a wonderful, uplifting time together. After the temple session, we went to the church and had a conference where we learned about studying. Humility time, folks. And before this, actually, all of the people going home had to stand up and give their "dying" testimonies. And this time, I was a part of that group. It was so strange. I realized before I stood up there to give my testimony that I didn't want to sound stupid. I knew that there were going to be about 15 other people who also had to give their testimonies, so it would have to be short, so I brainstormed a few points that I wanted to share and rehearsed it in my head so that it sounded good when I said it. And then I stood up and I said:

I don't feel like this is real. I don't feel like I'm going home soon. And sometimes I have to give myself a reality check and say "okay. I'm going home in 5 weeks." And then I think "five weeks? that's not even any time to do anything." But then I remember when Elder Texiaria came to this mission and gave a conference. He asked "who is the missionary who is going home next?" This one elder raised his hand. Elder Texiaria asked him how many days he had left. The Elder answered "16." And then Elder Texiaria said "imagine the mortal mission of Jesus Christ without the last 16 days." And then I realize that there is still work to do, prayers to pray, and....probably a lot of suffering. On my mission I've really come to know that Jesus Christ is the source of all healing. He has healed me. He can heal you. And He can heal the people you work with. I have really come to learn the difference between trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning to my own understanding. And when I trust in the Lord with all my heart--that's when I see miracles. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

After the conference, I went on exchanges with a sister who had only been in the land for four weeks in Almere. Being with her and hearing her questions and insights, it made me reflect to where I was about 16 months ago. And I saw for the first time how far I had truly come. A year and a half is so short, but it is so much time to learn and grow. She asked me what one of the biggest lessons I've learned is, and I told her that it was prayer. Learning how to pray. When I was in my first city, I knelt down one night to pray, tired of the same old prayer routine and feeling like I was praying just to pray. And so I decided to pray until I felt something. And when I prayed and put my heart and soul into communicating with my Heavenly Father, I felt His reply. I felt His comfort. I felt His approval. I felt His love. And as I continued to pray with purpose and with the expectation that God would give me answers because I was His child and He loved me, He has answered me. He has blessed me. And better yet, He has blessed those I loved, whom I also prayed for. 

I know that this gospel is true, or there would be no logical explanation for the joy I feel in my heart when I share it and when I live it. I love that the Lord hath seeth it fit to put me in the places I have been with the people I have been with. And I love, love, love, love all of it. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

The Extension - oct 27

Title: The Extension

This week was SO GOOD. It's one of those weeks that you just know the spirit guided you to all of the people and through all of the things you did. Looking back on it, it was just good. And now I'm looking at this week that's coming up and it's so weird. In my head, I know that all of the sisters I came into the field with--including my current companion, are going home on Wednesday. But I just cannot register it. I don't believe it. And that's probably because I'm staying. And I can't even imagine going home right now. There is so much work left to do here. And I think back onto the moment I decided to extend. I was inside my apartment and I just wanted to be out--talking to people, visiting people, doing something--but my companion was sick and taking a nap and so I decided to continue writing a song in Dutch to do a little language study. And this song was about the wise men. And as I was studying, and as I was writing, I began to just think a little about my mission and everything--and I realized... I loved being a missionary. And I had been praying lately about extending, putting all of the pros and cons out there and just asking if that's what I needed to do--kind of a little bit hoping that it wasn't because, for one, missions are hard, and two--Halloween. Come on. But I got this swelling, burning, overwhelming feeling in my chest that it was good. And it overflowed out my eyes and I creid and all of the reasons in my head that argued to go home at my regular date had no pull on my heart. And I knew I needed to stay. That song I wrote in Dutch has been a powerful reminder to me to stand as a witness of Christ--because that's why I came here. And a few weeks later, I wrote a song called 'Stay.' (I know...original title, eh?) It's in english, so you'll understand it. And it goes like this:

We often say--I'll go where you want me to go. 

And we ofter hope--that those are places we like also. 

We often say--I'll do what you want me to do.

But the times are all too few that we have the courage to.

And we often say-- "I'll say what you want me to say"

and yet the words...they don't come right away.

But how often do we think--that we are exactly where we're of need?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Let whatever come as it may, yeah those storms may rage as the dirt sprays back in my face

even if that's what I have to take-- I will stay. Steadfast, I pray.

We often think--"I'm not of much use around here"

And we often shed tears and give in to fear.

We let ourselves believe that others are better than we

That's why they're seen--or so it seems. 

And we often feel that everything's a little surreal. 

routinely spinning round the wheel and there's not quite enough time to heal.

But how often do we remember--that He is our greatest mender?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And if the storms come--as they may and they rage--and I fall flat on my face,

Your hand, I'll take to get back up and stay.Steadfast I pray.

Sometimes, let's be honest, we forget that we have the promise

That all along the way--by us, He'll stay. 

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Yeah I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And those storms--they have a way of breaking every faint desire to stay

but these are the days to stand back up and stay. Steadfast I pray. 

Steadfast I pray. Steadfast I'll stay. 

It's only three weeks--but it's enough. There is so much that can happen--so many miracles, so many laughs, so many lessons to be learned and so much growth. I am excited to see what it brings. LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

September 29

Title: Interviews.

So. The weeks are going by really fast and I don't even know what is happening. I guess I'll start with today.

Today was preparation day but we had interviews with President this morning in Den Haag. My companion was talking for like 50 minutes, which means I got to enjoy the company of his wife for those 50 minutes and it was really neat. I told her that I wished I could stay a lot longer on my mission because I feel that there are things that I haven't had time to learn and skills I haven't had time to master and she asked me some really soul searching questions about my desires, about my motivations, and really about my relationship with Christ. She said that we can know, in detail, the sequence and order of the events in Christ's life and in His Atonement. We can know what the Atonement covers and what the enabling aspects are, what the forgiveness and justice and mercy requirements are that it satisfies, and what that means for us and our salvation--but we don't know the full measure of that until we understand that Christ is our friend. It was real cool. Then President's after mission advice for me was to go to the college where the football team has the best win record. Spiritual boost today: acquired.

Since we were in Den Haag, we went to the Haagse Markt, which is apparently the biggest street market in Europe. Cool, eh? Maybe they just say that, but...I believe it. I got some skirts. It was nice.

Also, we had this dinner appointment last night and they made us this Suriname dish called Roti. I don't know how I've made it this long in this country without Roti, but it's a disgrace. It is seriously the best thing ever. And you eat it with your hands. Score.

Well,folks. It's been real. Til next week.

Dag!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

DREAM BIG ! sept 22

Title: Dream Big

So the song says: dream big, as big as the ocean blue, because when you dream it might come true. 

the other song says: keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart. 

then of course some songs say things like a dream is a wish your heart makes. 

these are all really good things about dreams. 

I always told everybody that I had two mission dreams. The one was to serve in Belgium. The other was to train. And now that I'm on my very last transfer, it is plain to see that neither of those things are going to happen. And that made me really sad last week because I felt like coming on my mission, I wasn't ablet o make anything of myself. I feel like I have loved my mission but that it has gone way too fast and that I didn't have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do and learn all the things I wanted to learn and develop into the person I need to develop into in this phase of my life. Of course progression continues after the mission, but there are some skills as a missionary that I can only perfect AS a missionary. And it's been a little disheartening, especially after leaving a city I thought I was for sure going to stay in and not having any time to say goodbye. 

But when I got to Zoetermeer I felt so good. It's been a healing process for sure. But it feels like home here. I know that I don't know these people and have never met them but they are all so familiar to me. I feel so at home. the work is going incredibly, the ward is amazing, and let's be honest, it's probably because the temple is in Zoetermeer, but there's just an enchantment in this city. And I know I'm supposed to be here with these people at this time. And I reflected on a time that I was in Assen many transfers ago and I said that I wanted to end my mission in Zoetermeer. And I read back to a diary page in my journal from 7 May 2013 that says "I talked to Zuster Spencer today and she says she feels we're going to be companions in the field. That would be SO cool! We would have SO much fun!" And I just think-- dreams do come true. Maybe they're not the dreams I thought I had. Maybe they aren't the dreams that I thought I had. But they're the dreams God seeth fit to grant me. And I am so incredibly thankful and blessed that I am in a situation where I KNOW that I am where I am supposed to be and with who I am supposed to be because God is the one who called me here Himself. And what a blessing it is that I love it. 

I wrote a song about 2 months ago with a chorus that said "I'll stay where you need me to stay, I remind myself that in Your arms, I'm always safe, yes, I'm okay. I've got your grace and a small taste of your love. And if the storms come, as they may, and they rage, and I fall flat on my face--you're hand I'll take, to get back up and stay. Steadfast I pray."

I love my Savior and the strength He gives me to bloom where I'm planted. 

Love you all!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

september 15

Title: I Don't Always See Sunflowers

What happened this week? Whitewash. Stolen bike. Elder Ballard. Blessings. Rotterdam Philharmonic. Baptismal date with Eritrea. Mouse proofed house.

Yep. So The transfer call came yesterday. The transfer call that said we'd be being white washed. Let's get that out of the way right now. My comp is leaving to go home. I am going to Zoetermeer. And my new companion is going to be ZUSTER SPENCER--we've prophesied of our eventual companionship since the MTC, and sure enough, our last transfer, it has come to pass! We're both pretty stoked. 

My bike got stolen. So I'll be moving to my fifth city and my fifth bike. Luckily one of the sisters going home is real happy to give me her bike. I love her. 

Elder Ballard came. It was incredible. I learned so much from him. Like what? You have no time to be anything but great. Teach the message and importance of the Restoration. Make people FEEL your testimony. Make sure they know how to PRAY. Man, that man is an apostle of God, I'll tell you what. And I got to shake his hand! I was the very last one. Best for last, right? :) 

I got a blessing! My first blessing on my mission. I know that the priesthood is real, it helped so much! I usually don't ask for blessings but I did and it was so good! God wants to help us and he is just waiting until we are willing to humble ourselves enough to acknowledge that we cant help ourselves as much as He can. It was wonderful. The priesthood holder said afterwards Ï don't always see sunflowers when I give blessings." It was funny in context. But also cool. 

A couple in our ward are from Russia and they are world famous violin players and they LOVE us so the husband is first chair in the Rotterdam Philharmonic and so they got us tickets AND permission from President to go! It was insane. I ached for my bass again. 

The Eritrean family dad wants to get baptized! They all have hearts of gold. We did an activity with them with footsteps and had them follow the footsteps to the picture of Jesus and on the footsteps were the steps of the gospel--the little girl did it first and when she got to Jesus, she kissed the photo. It was PRECIOUS. I am going to miss them hardcore. 

Aaand we also mouse proofed our house. all our food is in containers and we don't know what is where. So it'll be an adventure for these new sisters coming in. 

I love you friends! Have a great week! 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

September 8

Title: Nothing is Veilig!

Nothing is safe!

Well I don't have that much time this week to tell all the things I wanna tell but GUESS WHAT. We went stealth ninja style to catch some mice and using the trashcantilted on it's side, we did catch a mouse. We thought we heard her so we lifted it up normally and peeked in and you know what we found? Sure enough,  a mouse. AND THEN ALSO HER FIVE BABIES THAT SHE JSUT HAD. So we took out the trash (yeah, companion's idea, I don't know what I would've done differently but now they're out of the house at least...) and cleaned the whole kitched because nothing is veilig, and after we cleaned everything the mice could have touched...we sat on the couch for a few minutes and then we saw it....another mouse came out onto the counter. And then there was one under the fridge. THERE IS A MOUSE ARMY. SO we stayed up trying to catch the others, but with no luck. These mice are like super trained or something. I remembered that once I caught a mouse using duct tape so we put that all over and the mice avoided that, too! So it seems like this mouse in the house saga is to be continued...and until then, NOTHING IS VEILIG! 

In other news, we set a baptismal date with Curicao! He's the coolest! We also brought the elders to give Our Eritrean family blessings. It is so sweet because even though they don't really understand english or dutch, they are so sensitive to the spirit. They speak the language of the spirit, and that is the most important. We've also been doing some really cool things like going to cheese farms and windmills and other fun places before my comp goes home. It's been a party. Today we're going to that place where i's like Holland in miniature. It's called Maduradam or something. It's gonna be really cool.

We also had this really cool miracle this week where we were knocking doors like all dat and this lady belled us in without knowing who we were and then when she heard that we were missionaries she invited us right on in and we taught her the restoration and she said 6 weeks ago she left her church and has been looking for a new one and wants to come to our church and has been asking God and that we were sent from him. She said she'd come to church and it was a really cool miracle! then she called two days later ad dropped us. 

Such is the life. 

And it's WONDERFUL. I wouldn't trade it for anythin--and I ask the Lord everynight ....FOR JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE! 

That's today! 

I love you all!

Zuster Hoff

September 1

Title: A Mouse in the House

I know what you're probably thinking--"wow, Zuster Hoff has decided to do a Dr. Seuss style blog post" and you would be wrong. 

Of course the other possibility is that you were thinking "Oh, no. There's a mouse in Zuster Hoff and Zuster Mizell's apartment." And on that note, you would be right. Not only do we have a mouse, but we have the smartest mouse ever. You would think, "hey let's get a trap and put peanut butter on it. Mice like peanut butter." And then when it doesn't eat the peanut butter, you'd be like "well maybe he likes cheese better." And then when that doesn't work and you figure, "Oh, he's a Dutch mouse, he must like stroopwafels" and you try to catch him with a stroopwafel, HE STILL WONT JUST FALL FOR IT. 

So then you give in to mouse poison. But then, I came out to get a drink of water in the middle of the night and there he was. Running across the counter--out of sight. Indicating that he is still alive. And it turns out that nothing is going to kill this mouse. He is invicible. So we have decided to replace his name, Mickey, and call him Albert. 

And on that note, I don't really know a good segway (is that how you spell that word?) into talking about other things this week, but I guess I could say that sometimes, we are the mouse that the world is trying to catch, and often times we have to outsmart the traps, and the poison that comes our way. And sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard but it's always possible. My companion always says that there are three things in life that are sure-- 1. taxes 2. death and 3. the Atonement. And with the Atonement we can overcome all obstacles, (even the first two. haha just kidding about the taxes I have no idea how to overcome that one.) 

This week in missionary work was good. We found lost sheep (many who didn't wanna come back to the fold :( ) and we had some great lessons with Eritrea! They are the cutest. They couldn't come to church this week but they wanted to--they had family visiting. But our other investigator from Curicao came! He was even an HOUR early. That's what's up.

Yep yep yep, we're just rollin on a river...or..canal...but rollin on a canal doesn't have the same flow. 

wow...that opened the door for a lot more puns that I am NOT GOING TO MAKE. 

Okay. Love you all!

xoxo

ZusterHoff 

Auguat 25

Title: "Wij zijn ook Thank You."

The title literally translated means "we are also 'thank you'" You may be thinking--that is not correct verb use there. You would be right. But when the cutest little Eritrean family tells you that they are also thank you, you do not do anything but smile and possibly cry because of how unbelievably cute they are. 

This week, we met with them three times. The third one was at church because they came to church! And they liked it! IT WAS SO GOOD. They said they felt so good and it felt so good to have them there. 

The first time we met with them they showed us pictures of their 9 yeear old son in the hospital. They said that the first time we met them, it was the day that he got out of the hospital and that when we talked to them for the first time, they knew that we had a message for them from God. They said that in their country, there were no people that would teach them about understanding scripture and that they were so happy that we could help them. Then he asked a heartbreaking question of why the Book of Mormon wasn't translated in Trigrenia. 

The next appointment we apologized that the Book of Mormon wasn't in their first language, but he said it didn't matter. That it was in Amharic and that was good enough. and that if it wasn't in Amharic, they'd learn it in Dutch or in English, but no matter what, they were learning it. 

Every time before we leave we thank them for being the sweetest people in the world and letting us in their home to teach them and being so willing to learn, but when they say it back--when they look into our eyes and say "wij zijn ook thank you" we know that as much as we are thankful for them, they are even more thankful for us. I've only ever felt that few times in my mission--but it's beautiful to see that what we are offering people is a way to eternal life. Eternal joy. And eternal families. And it's something that they could never really repay us for. And because they recognize this-- because they are some of the few that realize how important this is-- I am also thank you.

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

August 18

Title: Out of Africa

Is that the title of the book? I don't remember. But I wasn't trying to play off of a book title, I've just had some really special experiences with Africans this week.

So I explained about the Eritrian family (who speaks Tegrinia) and the other man from the Congo who stopped us outside the library last week, right? Cool. Well, the plot thickens.

That sounds like it's bad. But it's actually so so good! Well. Maybe. 

It has been a super good week. Things with the Eritrian family are going SPLENDIDLY. They were going to come to church but didn't have enough money and didn't tell us until it was too late to find a ride (20 minutes before sacrament meeting.) So sad. But they are just the cutest! They want to learn so bad! We went over to help them move and asked what we could do to help and they said "just teach us. we just want to learn" and the next appointment we watched the Joseph Smith film and they wanted to keep it so they could watch it again. They are so good. Oh, my heart.

then we met with the man from outside the library. We will call him Congo, beacuse I'm feeling quite uncreative. We met with him and even had this member come with who is just fantastic and it was so good, and he wants to get baptized, but he was told that he could not get baptized if he was planning to break commandments.  The thing is, he is apparently the president of this organization that wants to kill the president of the Congo. He was at one point years ago a judge and he had some sort of power struggle with the President and apparently the President wants him dead too and anyway. It was kindof an interesting situation--he's a really smart, friendly guy--the stake president was a fellowshipper way back when and said that he's harmless, but...yeah. So he had all of his books out that he had recieved when he was taught years ago by the other missionaries, so I had coincidentally read in the Doctrine and Convenants 98 that morning about forgiveness, and luckily I can read French, so I opened up to it in his triple and told him to read it. He loved it. He even got up to get a pen so that he could mark it. We told him about God making it possible for us to keep His commandments. And even though he didn't speak much Dutch or English, it was a pretty powerful lesson.

I love the principles of the gospel--especially the principle of forgiveness. Forgiving is freeing. Being forgiven is freeing. What a great hope it is to know that we can be forgiven and that as we forgive others and see them for who they are, they can become who they "ought to be."

brb becoming who I ought to be

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

Singing in the Rain July 28

Title: Singing in the Rain

So we had zone training last week and that was the first time that I have honestly not received any mail whatsoever from anyone. No letters. I remembered an elder at the beginning of my mission who only had a few transfers left and he hadn't gotten any mail that conference and he assured me that there comes a point that we all enter into the forgotten phase where we've been out too long and nobody wants to keep contact anymore, and I believed it would come, but I hoped it wouldn't. But now I have gotten there. And it's sad to be in the forgotten phase. (Plus, I'm pretty sure none of my companions will ever be there...they're all way too cool.) 

But anyway, this last week was Pioneer Day! And of course I had to call everybody in my district and give them some pioneer trivia--such as how long ago was Salt Lake City declared as "the place"? [1847] What was Brigham Young ill with when entering into the valley? [Mountain Fever] What did the pioneer children do as they walked and walked and walked and walked? [Sing. According to the primary song, right?] 

So I think of these pioneer children and families--not only possibly forgotten for long term because they weren't coming "home" after a year and a half, but also unable to recieve mail, and they sang. They suffered a lot of hard things and yet they still found joy in their journey. They had purpose. They had cause. I was especialls touched while reading "Our Heritage" and seeing the testimony of one of those men in the Martin Handcart Company.

“I was in that company and my wife was in it. . . . We suffered

beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure

and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company

utter a word of criticism? . . . [We] came through with the absolute

knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our

extremities.

“I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary

from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead

of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill

slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give

up, for I cannot pull the load through it. . . . I have gone on to that

sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have

looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my

eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

“Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither

then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become

acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was

privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.”

I am privileged to be in the Belgium/Netherlands mission being a modern day pioneer but way way more fortunate.

Last night it rained like CRAZY and it was my first thunderstorm to experience in this country and it was BEAUTIFUL. I loved it! But this morning we were trapped inside for a while as our door stoop became a beach for the sea of the fallen rain. And it was beautiful.

xoxo

ZusterHoff

Detox just to Retox JULY 21

So this week my companion and I totally felt like we had been eating too carelessly lately and wanted to be more disciplined, so we decided to go extreme and detox. It wasn't completely possible because of our dinner appointments, but it was enough to the point that we decided we hated green vegetables after about 2 days. So then we joined in eating a big piece of a giant peanut butter cup that she made (because she makes peanut butter cups from scratch and they are delicious. what up.) 

Anyway, while we were sitting in the apartement for lunch or something one day, I looked pensively to the wall and asked "how does one do a life detox? Like, a detox from life?" 

She looked with like a "duh"expression on her face at me and goes "isn't that what a mission is?" zingggg. 

Hahaha. 

Detoxing--or rather "detoxing"- while it began to taste like dirt after a while, actually did help me feel healthier and better. It gave enough discipline where I knew that I could really do whatever I wanted to but where I knew that if I wanted to not hate myself, I would make the healthy choice. And yes, after the detox, we definately retoxed. But I think the point is to keep being healthy afterwards. And we're trying. 

A mission is really fun. But sometimes, after a while, sometimes it starts to look like dirt. Sometimes your tan actually is dirt. But mostly it's bike grease and sweat. And it gets really hard to endure. But it is chalked full with such good experiences that make me happy to have spent my time in a good cause. Even though sometimes it has been painful and I have wanted to not leave my apartment or sometimes I've run into days or weeks or months where I'd rather not wake up. Ever. It has been beautiful. And afterwards (wow I can't believe I'm talking about this) I'll be reimmersed in the world and everything, but the point is still to keep in good spiritual health. and the discipline I gain here will help me do that. 

This post took a weird turn and now I don't know what to say but yay detox. 

I love you all.

Stay happy and healthy. 

xoxo

ZusterHoff

Hup Holland Hup? JULY 14

Well. The one game we as a mission got to watch, Nederland lost. That's what we get for breakin the rules of the white handbook I guess. OBEDIENCE BRINGS BLESSINGS. EVERY TIME. 

So, what do you do when discouragement sets in? When you realize the weight of your decisions on yourself and others? When your team loses? When your most reliable plans fall through and the people you thought you could count on turn against you? When you feel like everything is against you and you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and just about to crush you down to nothing? Powerless. Struggling. Alone. Sad. 

The mission, as life, is incomplete without these sorts of experience. It's like that quote about the refiner's fire, or that quote about how we either get grinded down or polished up in this stone crusher sort of a world. 

But these are the moments we become humble. We realize the need of God in our lives. The need of our Savior Jesus Christ, who is mighty and able to take our yoke upon him and suffer what we suffer. He is the only one we can count on. And His atonement is everything we need. 

I also hope that exercise and detoxing helps because that's what my plans are. 

well.

I love you all. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

Ten Year Tribute: Hold to the Rod JULY 7 2014

There isn´t too much to report on this week. the days just get really short but the weeks end up being really long and everything blends together. But operation reactivation is going pretty cool, I guess you could say. Setting dates with people to come back to church and be edified by the good word of God. It´s a wonderful life. 

Speaking of the good word of God, the Book of Mormon has a story about an iron rod, which is compared to be the word of God. I have an iron rod that I wear around my neck. My mom sent it to me back in December and told me to remember the carving that Michael did--a small piece of wood with the words carved in `hold to the rod` much like the words on my necklace. Yesterday marked the TENTH YEAR since his death. And every year, on the death date or birthday, I like to do something to remember/honor him. So yesterday I wrote a song. And since I have nothing else to say, I will write it up for you.

It´s called....10 Year Tribute: Hold to the Rod

The prophet Lehi had a dream wherein he saw many things

including a tree--who´s fruit could make one to be exceedingly happy

And he bade his family to come see

Numberless concourses were pressing on all catching hold of the iron rod,

the word of God, for however long it took to see the dawn

And they´d taste the glory of the brightest day,

yet still some people fell away

lost in the mists of darkness.

There was a young boy unsure of where he could turn for joy,

slightly annoyed, a few wrong turns can only lead to tears and burns.

Yet luckily, it was easy to find that good ol´path once left behind

still aligned with pictures in white and arms open wide.

And oh what joy filled the soul when they found he reached the goal 

in the right and preparing for eternity

Yet in a flash after the crash, we become a little taken aback...

and there will be many who say 

why were you taken away 

why oh why did you have to go

I don´t know

and we take all we can find to remind us of the good times

but what they leave behind is the best sign...

After he´s gone, a book, a song,

a suggestion of how to go on,

a hollow log--hold to the rod.

So I´ll grasp onto the end keep pressing on with you my friend

keeping my balance through this mist of darkness

No I don´t ask why anymore, I´ll never know all the answers for sure,

I just put my trust in God and I hold to the rod.

Keep holding on. 

Take me where I belong.

HOLD TO THE ROD.

I am thankful for the examples I have in my life of goodness. And I know that I have many. I love my mission and that it lets me get closer to the other side of the viel. Blessed am I.

I love you all! Have a great week! :)

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

Sticks and Spit June 30

Whale whale whale. We haven't seen any whales I don't know why I started out that way but anyway--can we talk about the fact that it is July tomorrow? Yeah. It's July tomorrow. That is...the month of summer that it becomes really hot in this country. Bring it on. [gently, please.]

Well, I don't really have any cool spiritual experiences that happened this week because I was kinda sick so I spent a lot of time feeling like a zombie and not really "thrusting in my sickle" if you get what I'm sayin [Doctrine and Covenants Section 4] 

BUT we had an appointment with Matt (he moves back to London tomorrow how sad) but we were at his place and he actually lives in this part of town that people call little Morrocco. All the people are Muslim or atleast middle eastern and they don't like white people. Anyway, we bell up to Matt for him to let us in and nobody answers, so we call him up and it turns out he's gonna be a little late so we're like--no problem. We'll just wait. and so we're waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And while we're waiting, we notice these little girls who are just wanting to make trouble. There is this little storage room for bikes and we're standing next to the door and all of a sudden the door opens and one of the girls runs past and throws out a stick. And then she and her friend are just laughing inside the building and thinking they are so smart. Then a few minutes later, the door opens again, and they throw out this huge empty container of laundry detergent. and by this point we're like...wow. what children. They are bangin on the windows and laughing and whatever and we're deciding to ignore it....until from the balconies, they start SPITTING ON US. It was sick. So we rescheduled with Matt and biked awayyyyy. 

My companion asked "what do you think Jesus would've done in this situation?" Well. Jesus said "suffer the children..." Emphasis on the word SUFFER. 

Just kidding I love children. Most of the time. But I never thought I'd be spit on on my mission. Don't know why that never crossed my mind. BUT while sticks and spit may wish me away, no harassment can take my testimony.  

I coulda made that line cooler but I don't have a lot of time. 

Bottom line-- RISE ABOVE IT. We were made for more than the dross of this world. 

xoxox

Zuster Hoff