I AM .......... coming home! nov 10

Title: I AM.

So this week was good! We had a lot of cancellations and some moments where motivation was a little out of sight, but we fought our way through it and did it well! We had an investigator from  Suriname make us peanut soup, we had some real good lessons, we went to Den Haag one night and split with some of their ward members to look up some members--it was really fun. I got to talking to this lady about my mission and all the things I've learned--like how hard work brings results and how no single missionary has success--we work together to bring salvation to these people and it is all in the Lord's success. I learned through talking it out that the worth of souls really is so great in the sight of God.
And then we had days where all we did was look ups and finding. But it was really cool, on Saturday, we just went out with a few names and addresses and we found some real cool people--everyone we looked up was home, we made 7appointments, and we had some real good conversations. There was this couple we stopped, and we stardted talking about the restoration with them, and the woman said "You can preach really well. You should do something with that." And then the man looks at her and goes "she is!" Haha.

And that's right, I am! How great is my calling!

Well. Only one week to go. Freaky. Well, I'm still in denial.

Tot volgend week!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

I'm going there someday -- oct 20

Title: I'm going there someday...Actually, I went there last week

Title credit: Zuster Spencer. 

So as you may have guessed from the title, last week was TEMPLE CONFERENCE! It was so good! The nice thing about living so close to the temple is that for temple conference, you can get up at the normal time and just have a nice bike ride to the temple. 15 minutes, everyone. It was wonderful. Going to the temple so seldomly really makes it a special thing when the time finally comes around again to go. And it was so good to see my old companions and be able to talk to them and have a wonderful, uplifting time together. After the temple session, we went to the church and had a conference where we learned about studying. Humility time, folks. And before this, actually, all of the people going home had to stand up and give their "dying" testimonies. And this time, I was a part of that group. It was so strange. I realized before I stood up there to give my testimony that I didn't want to sound stupid. I knew that there were going to be about 15 other people who also had to give their testimonies, so it would have to be short, so I brainstormed a few points that I wanted to share and rehearsed it in my head so that it sounded good when I said it. And then I stood up and I said:

I don't feel like this is real. I don't feel like I'm going home soon. And sometimes I have to give myself a reality check and say "okay. I'm going home in 5 weeks." And then I think "five weeks? that's not even any time to do anything." But then I remember when Elder Texiaria came to this mission and gave a conference. He asked "who is the missionary who is going home next?" This one elder raised his hand. Elder Texiaria asked him how many days he had left. The Elder answered "16." And then Elder Texiaria said "imagine the mortal mission of Jesus Christ without the last 16 days." And then I realize that there is still work to do, prayers to pray, and....probably a lot of suffering. On my mission I've really come to know that Jesus Christ is the source of all healing. He has healed me. He can heal you. And He can heal the people you work with. I have really come to learn the difference between trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning to my own understanding. And when I trust in the Lord with all my heart--that's when I see miracles. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

After the conference, I went on exchanges with a sister who had only been in the land for four weeks in Almere. Being with her and hearing her questions and insights, it made me reflect to where I was about 16 months ago. And I saw for the first time how far I had truly come. A year and a half is so short, but it is so much time to learn and grow. She asked me what one of the biggest lessons I've learned is, and I told her that it was prayer. Learning how to pray. When I was in my first city, I knelt down one night to pray, tired of the same old prayer routine and feeling like I was praying just to pray. And so I decided to pray until I felt something. And when I prayed and put my heart and soul into communicating with my Heavenly Father, I felt His reply. I felt His comfort. I felt His approval. I felt His love. And as I continued to pray with purpose and with the expectation that God would give me answers because I was His child and He loved me, He has answered me. He has blessed me. And better yet, He has blessed those I loved, whom I also prayed for. 

I know that this gospel is true, or there would be no logical explanation for the joy I feel in my heart when I share it and when I live it. I love that the Lord hath seeth it fit to put me in the places I have been with the people I have been with. And I love, love, love, love all of it. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

The Extension - oct 27

Title: The Extension

This week was SO GOOD. It's one of those weeks that you just know the spirit guided you to all of the people and through all of the things you did. Looking back on it, it was just good. And now I'm looking at this week that's coming up and it's so weird. In my head, I know that all of the sisters I came into the field with--including my current companion, are going home on Wednesday. But I just cannot register it. I don't believe it. And that's probably because I'm staying. And I can't even imagine going home right now. There is so much work left to do here. And I think back onto the moment I decided to extend. I was inside my apartment and I just wanted to be out--talking to people, visiting people, doing something--but my companion was sick and taking a nap and so I decided to continue writing a song in Dutch to do a little language study. And this song was about the wise men. And as I was studying, and as I was writing, I began to just think a little about my mission and everything--and I realized... I loved being a missionary. And I had been praying lately about extending, putting all of the pros and cons out there and just asking if that's what I needed to do--kind of a little bit hoping that it wasn't because, for one, missions are hard, and two--Halloween. Come on. But I got this swelling, burning, overwhelming feeling in my chest that it was good. And it overflowed out my eyes and I creid and all of the reasons in my head that argued to go home at my regular date had no pull on my heart. And I knew I needed to stay. That song I wrote in Dutch has been a powerful reminder to me to stand as a witness of Christ--because that's why I came here. And a few weeks later, I wrote a song called 'Stay.' (I know...original title, eh?) It's in english, so you'll understand it. And it goes like this:

We often say--I'll go where you want me to go. 

And we ofter hope--that those are places we like also. 

We often say--I'll do what you want me to do.

But the times are all too few that we have the courage to.

And we often say-- "I'll say what you want me to say"

and yet the words...they don't come right away.

But how often do we think--that we are exactly where we're of need?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Let whatever come as it may, yeah those storms may rage as the dirt sprays back in my face

even if that's what I have to take-- I will stay. Steadfast, I pray.

We often think--"I'm not of much use around here"

And we often shed tears and give in to fear.

We let ourselves believe that others are better than we

That's why they're seen--or so it seems. 

And we often feel that everything's a little surreal. 

routinely spinning round the wheel and there's not quite enough time to heal.

But how often do we remember--that He is our greatest mender?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And if the storms come--as they may and they rage--and I fall flat on my face,

Your hand, I'll take to get back up and stay.Steadfast I pray.

Sometimes, let's be honest, we forget that we have the promise

That all along the way--by us, He'll stay. 

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Yeah I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And those storms--they have a way of breaking every faint desire to stay

but these are the days to stand back up and stay. Steadfast I pray. 

Steadfast I pray. Steadfast I'll stay. 

It's only three weeks--but it's enough. There is so much that can happen--so many miracles, so many laughs, so many lessons to be learned and so much growth. I am excited to see what it brings. LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff