Title: I'm going there someday...Actually, I went there last week
Title credit: Zuster Spencer.
So as you may have guessed from the title, last week was TEMPLE CONFERENCE! It was so good! The nice thing about living so close to the temple is that for temple conference, you can get up at the normal time and just have a nice bike ride to the temple. 15 minutes, everyone. It was wonderful. Going to the temple so seldomly really makes it a special thing when the time finally comes around again to go. And it was so good to see my old companions and be able to talk to them and have a wonderful, uplifting time together. After the temple session, we went to the church and had a conference where we learned about studying. Humility time, folks. And before this, actually, all of the people going home had to stand up and give their "dying" testimonies. And this time, I was a part of that group. It was so strange. I realized before I stood up there to give my testimony that I didn't want to sound stupid. I knew that there were going to be about 15 other people who also had to give their testimonies, so it would have to be short, so I brainstormed a few points that I wanted to share and rehearsed it in my head so that it sounded good when I said it. And then I stood up and I said:
I don't feel like this is real. I don't feel like I'm going home soon. And sometimes I have to give myself a reality check and say "okay. I'm going home in 5 weeks." And then I think "five weeks? that's not even any time to do anything." But then I remember when Elder Texiaria came to this mission and gave a conference. He asked "who is the missionary who is going home next?" This one elder raised his hand. Elder Texiaria asked him how many days he had left. The Elder answered "16." And then Elder Texiaria said "imagine the mortal mission of Jesus Christ without the last 16 days." And then I realize that there is still work to do, prayers to pray, and....probably a lot of suffering. On my mission I've really come to know that Jesus Christ is the source of all healing. He has healed me. He can heal you. And He can heal the people you work with. I have really come to learn the difference between trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning to my own understanding. And when I trust in the Lord with all my heart--that's when I see miracles. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
After the conference, I went on exchanges with a sister who had only been in the land for four weeks in Almere. Being with her and hearing her questions and insights, it made me reflect to where I was about 16 months ago. And I saw for the first time how far I had truly come. A year and a half is so short, but it is so much time to learn and grow. She asked me what one of the biggest lessons I've learned is, and I told her that it was prayer. Learning how to pray. When I was in my first city, I knelt down one night to pray, tired of the same old prayer routine and feeling like I was praying just to pray. And so I decided to pray until I felt something. And when I prayed and put my heart and soul into communicating with my Heavenly Father, I felt His reply. I felt His comfort. I felt His approval. I felt His love. And as I continued to pray with purpose and with the expectation that God would give me answers because I was His child and He loved me, He has answered me. He has blessed me. And better yet, He has blessed those I loved, whom I also prayed for.
I know that this gospel is true, or there would be no logical explanation for the joy I feel in my heart when I share it and when I live it. I love that the Lord hath seeth it fit to put me in the places I have been with the people I have been with. And I love, love, love, love all of it.
xoxo
Zuster Hoff
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