Amazing Grace

Title: Amazing Grace

When beautiful events happen on a mission, all of the worrying about numbers and key indicators and other techinical factors disappear--and I remember what I'm here for. God's children. Serving the Lord. And finding joy in the journey.

 

One of the most beautiful moments I have ever witnessed on my mission was the event this past weekend of Sara getting baptized. She was dressed in a long white dress that made her look like an angel. She said she felt like she was wearing pajamas. She was sitting in front of me as I was explaining what would happen and she got very quiet. Puzzeled (and eager to resolve concern) I quickly asked "what? what are you thinking? what are you feeling?" she answered simply--"I am trying to feel him." "You're trying to feel him??" I asked. "The Holy Ghost" she said. "him? her? it?"

 

It was such a tender moment. I remember the first time I met Sara. It was my first day in Leeuwarden and she had been found a few weeks earlier but had been on vacation so we went by to see if maybe she was home yet. She was. It was the first time missionaries had ever been in her home. She asked if we had eaten dinner. We hadn't. So she invited us in to eat the spiciest chinese food I have ever tasted. As I tried to hold back the tears from the burning in my face, we talked to Sara about faith--a topic that was completely foreign to her (she wasn't a Buddhist because she liked meat. also probably other reasons but that, I guess, was a deal breaker.) She talked about how she had seen on T.V. and on movies how people go to a church and they find peace and direction in thier lives and how she wanted to have those types of experiences. We told her she could, and we gave her a place to read in the Book of Mormon. I think it was in Nephi. We came back for our next appointment and started to talk about that chapter and she stopped us saying "first question--who's Nephi? I googled it but I couldn't find any good answers." 

 

Well. Since, she's learned about prophets. She's come to church where we've translated dutch into english. She's started her own pattern of scripture study by marking all of the scriptures about prayer (how cuute!) and she has gotten baptized and recieved the gift of the Holy Ghost through the restored priesthood in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I would say--she has had the experiences that she has wanted. And the best part was to hear her say "thank you." Because I know that whether or not I had even been here, she would've had this opportunity. But I still got to see her through it. Blessed am I.

 

I think my favorite part of baptism week was the white underwear talk. You just learn so much about a person while having that talk. The one with the baptizer was probably the best.

 

Us: Hey, just a reminder, we know this may be awkward but remember to wear white underwear today because otherwise it would be even more awkward.

Him: I have underwear that is predominately white...close enough.

Him: Well, it has some black skateboarder dudes or whatever on it. Perhaps I should go and buy some white ones....

Him: I'll go and do that right now.

 

Well. To quote myself last week--unashamed of telling you all about their underwear drawers (and other personal matters)--of such are the Dutch!

 

It's been a great week! Time goes to fast. Seasons change. and the tulips are almost here! Have a beautiful week!

 

Sending love--

 

xoxo

 

Zuster Hoff

 

of Such are the Dutch

Title: of Such are the Dutch

I would just like to reassure you all that my bike is indeed not stolen. Hoorah! It's always nice to know that the things you own are owned honestly. The man apparently just really knows how to fix up  bikes and since bikes are in abundance in this country, if you really know where to look for em (or if your really good helper above is lookin our for you), you can find someone who is really good with bikes. Of such are the Dutch. 

On Tuesday, we had a full day. And then all of our appointments cancelled. Some cancelled in a timely fashion...some cancelled when we called. But the best was when the other appointment cancelled just because she heard that our other two appointments cancelled and didn't want to be the only reason that we went out. *facepalm.* Of such are the Dutch.

Wednesday, we tried to go out to a less active member's house to help with the garden and the bus that usually went through her city didn't..and since the stop was showing on the screen as a stop that was GOING TO BE STOPPED AT, we passed the town about two times, going in different directions, only to find out that the bus wasn't going through that city that day and nobody felt that that was worthy to mention. Really great public transportation communication--of such are the Dutch.

Thursday we had a really great appointment with a member referral but it was very hard because he was very particular about every little word used so it felt that he tried to catch us in our words and just had a lot of problems with the way we explained things and it was very trying. Being nit-picky about the way you say every little--of such are the Dutch.

Saturday we had a member come on joint teach (which was really great) but then rant in front of our faces afterwards about how stupid it is the way missionaries do missionary work. She complimented how well we taught...that was nice. But wow. how do you stand up for the first presidency of the church and they're instruction on how to do missionary work and still be one with the members? Bluntness with their opinion and always thinking they know how to do things best--of such are the Dutch.

Sunday, little adorable Sara came to church and handed out her invitations for her baptism and so many people said they couldn't come and it was sad because it wasn't just an "sorry I can't be there," it was offering a multitude of excuses of why whatever they had was more important and also kind of acting insulted and that it was an inconvenience to them that this baptism (that has been planned for THREE months on this day) was planned at a time that didn't work for them. Justifying why they are right in every little thing--of such are the Dutch.

And so when my teachers told me in the MTC that I would fit in really well here...I now know that that wasn't really a compliment. Haha. But I guess the most beautiful part is that people are imperfect--yet we can learn to see trough their weaknesses and flaws and love them in spite of that. My companion has really taught me a lot about that--she is such a  good example of dealing with people and I love her so much. 

I am so excited that Sara is getting baptized! I bet that when she left China, she had no idea that the Netherlands would offer more than just a Master's program education--but when the Lord looked down on her soul and saw her eternal worth--He knew that this is what she was meant for. What a miracle! 

All this paint, and we're finally putting on the second coat--starting with this little Chinese girl. She is about to be white as snow--such as WILL BE the Dutch. 

Happy week to you all! 

Love you,

XXOO

Zuster Hoff

Consider the Tulips

Title: Consider the Tulips

 

The land of the tulips has begun to spit some up--everywhere. These are just the pre-season tulips, they're not quite official or anything, but they are beautiful.

 

This past week has certainly been an interesting one. We have talked to some cool people, taught some cool people, and just had a pretty good week. When the lessons fall through--sometimes there's something better. Or sometimes, there is just a lesson that fell through. But everything has it's reasons.

 

My "pointless miracles" rant was a little incoherent last week. It was more of an inner debate I had to have with myself. But I think this week I think I want to add to it. It has to do with the quote "sometimes things fall apart so that other things can fall into place." Emphasis on the sometimes. But those sometimes, I've found, are really worth it.

 

This week, we had an appointment lined up with this really cool guy, we had even called and confirmed it, but we called almost every active woman to be a joint teach, and nobody could come with. So we finally arranged for the elders to come with, and at almost the last minute, he called and said he had to work late. So, it being the half way mark of my companion, we needed to do something to celebrate (and we had also scheduled too many appointments that night for dinner so yay-cancelled appointment means we can eat, in this case) so we decide to go get ice cream. And the sign on the door says it's open until 8 but it is definately not 8 yet, nor is it open. So we turn back, and on the way, there are some men at a bar, sittin outside, who see us and are talking among themselves about the mormons, when my companion, overhearing them, goes up to them and gives them a card. I was just thinking "wow, I wish I was as cool and fearless as my companion. I am going to contact the next person I see." The next person I see happens to be drunk or at least severely intoxicated and was also smoking. He was at least a nice one (mean drunks are not fun) and he actually seemed pretty interested. He talked to us about his addictions--how he had been trying to overcome them but he was in a relapse. He told us about how he hadn't been sleeping. We were able to tell him a little about the enabling power of Jesus Christ's atonement, walk with him to our church to show him where it was, invite him to maybe come to church sometime, and say a little prayer with him. He gave us his address and then we said we'd be in touch. His name sounds like Shirt.

 

A few days later, my bike decided to just stop working. The back wheel (darn those back wheels) wouldn't turn in a normal circle, it was way too loose but unable to be tightened. Not sure exactly what happened, I just know it stopped working. So we had to walk/take busses/rent a bike. My companion's bike started having issues, too.

 

Well, Shirt didn't come to church on sunday--we didn't really think anything of it, but today, we went down to the station to take my rented bike back and also took my companion's bike in and we thought we'd go to the church really quick to see if we could pick up a Chinese Book of Mormon. We also took my bike on over to the church so that it wasn't sitting at the station too long and getting taken away. I was practicing the piano when my comp and I heard knocking on the door. We went out to see who it was, and it was Shirt. He seemed a little eccentric today, but he said he was sober and that he had been getting some sleep, so we gave him the benefit of the doubt. We talked to him a little and I mentioned my bike was out of working order and he said he knew an old man who's hobby was bikes--I said I'd rather just buy a new one because mine was so bad--I showed it to him. He agreed. And then he said he'd line me up with a new bike. It kinda didn't seem like he would actually do it, but I thought "well, I need a new one today, so by the time he does, I'll just say I already bought one, and it will be fine." But he left, we went back into the church so I could learn how to play the whole song (top and bottom hand! I am getting so good! haha) and then we got a call from Shirt. He said he got a bike from this old man friend of his and he was on his way back with it--asked if we were still at the church....we were. So..I paid 20 euro and it's actually a really decent bike. Obviously it needs a headlight and a chain to lock it up, but otherwise...it's great. But then there's the question--did he just go steal this bike and now I'm riding a stolen bike?

 

When do you stop assuming positive intent? How do you ever really know if people are sincere? Maybe he scams people often. But we have his address and phone number. So...is he stupid? Or did he really need somebody to reach out and show him love and now he's giving back? There's also the miracle that we went to the church at that time and stayed for that long and that he came knocking at the church doors. All the signs point to--miracle. Well...a lot of the signs.

 

Maybe it was a miracle. Or maybe I'll get stopped by the police for stealing a bike and the miracle will be invalidated. Or maybe the person who's bike it is will find me and I'll give the bike back and it will turn out that this person is open and ready to recieve the gospel of Jesus Christ. Or maybe, this miracle is just right in front of me and I need to accept it as such. All it took was one fallen through appointment.

 

Christ said "consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;...wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the over, even so will he clothe you if you are not of little faith. Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things..."

 

I, like Nephi, don't know the meaning of all things. But I know that God loves His children. He knows our needs. And He answers our prayers. 

 

I don't know if this was also incoherent or made sense...but I feel better now :) Some things fall apart so that others can fall into place. Some things fall into place so that miracles can happen. As Einstein said--there are two ways to live: one is as if everything is a miracle. The other is as if nothing is.

 

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, friends! I hope you all are wearing green. :)

 

xoxo

 

Zu

Pointless Miracles

Title: Pointless Miracles

 

The debate is this: is any miracle ever pointless? There are so many miracles that happen in this life. We see miracles every day. Coincidentally running into people who, if the situation had been any different or we had stayed in anotehr city until the next bus came or whatever, we otherwise would've missed. Inviting people to make the descision to be baptized and them accepting a date. Even just getting in with someone--having an appointment--being able to make an appointment--being in the right place at the right time. Finding a cheap bike that rides better/is cheaper than the other one you have would be to fix. Making every single bus in the knick of time to get to the next place we need to be. These things make the soul rejoice. They are successes. Sometimes small successes, but still evidence of the divine awareness that God has for us. But what if nothing ever happens from it? What if the number or address we got was fake? What if the person we ran into actually doesn't have any desire to learn more? What if we get stood up time and time again? What if those people change their minds and don't want it anymore--what if they just fall off the face of the planet and you can never get in touch with them again? What if that bike turns out to be completely awful|(all three times)? Do those things invalidate the miracle? Does it make that miraculous moment indeed not even miraculous anymore?

When miracles happen--it's exciting. It makes us feel like God knows us. That He loves us. That He wants us to know that He is aware of us. Maybe "pointless miracles" happen when He knows that we're in need of a pick me up. Or maybe, miracles just aren't ever pointless. Maybe they change us. Or maybe they just lift us up a little higher so that there's more room to fall when that time comes--and maybe it just worsens the pain. But then again, that's like begging the question ïs it better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all?"

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I don't really know why miracles happen. I don't really know why great things happen when it doesn't even go anywhere. I know that there has to be opposition in all things, but I don't understand why sometimes there's a miracle--we find someone in a miraculous way--we have a really great lesson--we buy a bike that looks like it will be trusty (ugh)--and then we never see that person again--or the next lesson we get dropped--or that bike starts being awful.Was that first thing even a miracle at all? what does the word miracle even mean? Is it something that had to be divinely rearranged? Out of our hands kind of experiences that are too great to be coincidental? I forgot my english pocket dictionary in the states. But even after all the confusion--all the ups and downs and roud abouts--I still believe in miracles. Because I know that God understands the bigger pictures--the things we were never meant to understand. When we can be instruments in His hands, maybe there is a reason that He needs us for that specific purpose at that time. Maybe we will find out why later. Or maybe not. But that's where hope and trust come in.

But the question remains. Is any miracle ever pointless? Well. Is love ever wasted? No. At least, I don't think so. 

"Behold, all things are done in the wosdom of He who knoweth all things."

"I know that He loveth His children, nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

 

I love you all.

xoxo

 

Zuster Hoff

Life is like...

title: Life is like...

 

missionary work. I guess missionary work is life and life is very much still happening on a mission, but I never understood and still dont understand that quote "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." Because you know exactly what you're going to get in a boxof chocolate. You're going to get chocolate. They even have a little sheet of paper that explains exactly what every chocolate in that box is. But if you really want to know what IS suprising--it's missionary work.

 

I mean, we can have the best weeks planned, and then everything falls through. The most positive people can turn their backs on what they've learned, and the most looked forward to days can be the most disappointint--but then on the other hand, you can have absolutely nothing planned and then end a week with seven new people wanting to learn about the gospel, four people who want to be baptized and members who haven't come to church a single time in a year (who've been meeting with the missionaries pretty much weekly since then and yet making no progress) who decides she wants to go to the temple and makes the decision that she is going to do everything that it takes to get there.

 

That's what it's about. It's about enduring the hard times to get to see the miracles. It's about having faith through those times of disappointment and despair, and then just when you think you don't know how it's going to get any better--the sun comes up--and the hand of the Lord is seen. I have a testimony that things sometimes have to fell apart for other things to fall into place. I don't know the answers to everything, but I do know that what Sheri Dew said and that what I stated in my call acceptance letter was true: "Do you want to be happy? and I mean, really and truly happy? Then nurture somone along the path that leads to the temple, and ultimately to Jesus Christ."

 

I know that Jesus Christ can heal us and walk with us--on water, through fire, and under burdens. His love is perfect.

 

I love you all!

Tot ziens!

 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

Paint this City--Part II

Paint this City--Part II

 

Another transfer in Leeuwarden means another layer to be painted over this beautiful city. but this round--we got a new player (the old one had a game over. ouch. Shout out to Zuster Rigdon who is now returned with HONOR.)

 

My new companion, Zuster Clement, might just be the best painter I've ever met. I am very impressed. We have seen miracles come out of the nooks and crannies of this great city. It has been a BLESSED transfer so far (five days?).

 

I have been humbled like crazy this week. I have realized that my ways are always imperfect. That's really hard to accept--especially when here I was thinking I had been making all this progress. And the thing isn't that I haven't been making the progress that I believed I had been making, but it's accepting that there is still a really long way to go, so I cant just be content with my ways. I think that's a big reason that change is so important in this life--it forces us to get out of the ruts and routines and patterns that we have been in and challenges us to continuously improve. It forces us to make choices--to change our behavior, or let it be, and see if that will help us grow or let us fester. This change has been one of the harder ones, but I've also seen some of the greatest miracles.

 

I cannot explain the testimony that I have recieved of member missionary work since I have been on my mission. If there is anything of the most worth that a person can do for the people they love, it is introduce them to the way that will bring them back to Jesus Christ. Back to Heavenly Father. And help them make it so that they can live forever with the people who matter most to them, "in a state of happiness that has no end." This I know.

 

Painting isn't always easy, but man oh man is it beautiful.

 

Stay beautiful--

with love

 

ZUSTER HOFF

xoxo

Dance Party of One

Title: Dance Party of One

 

So my dance partyin, back up rappin, beat boxin, hardcore awesome companion goes home this week. It looks like I'm about to be a dance party of one. Watch out America, yous about to get rocked.

 

Anyway. This week was wonderful. And do you know why it was wonderful? Because It was Valentines day. And what the world needs is LOVE. Sweet love.

so what you do for valentines day as a sister missionary? Have the best day of your life. Paint the town red and pink and purple. and Spread the love.

 

We were super sneaky flower/note droppers. We heart attacked our branch president's desk. We went on a date to the Pannekoekschip. That's right, the PANCAKE SHIP. We made it look very professional and dignified, don't worry. BUT WE ATE PANCAKES ON A SHIP. Look out the window and what do we see? NOT popcorn popping off the apricot tree--WATER. because WE WERE ON A SHIP. It was really cool, brothers and sisters. We also ate chocolate and gave out love notes (pass along cards...) and also real notes with love in them (because we love our investigators) and then to end the night, we had a candlelight dinner with a recent convert and her sister. We made (and then destroyed) a heart shaped pinata. I wrote a love song. And then we had a dance party.

and then we did as the dutch do and planned (on the day after valentines day) a second valentines day (they do it with christmas, easter, and pinkster day--why not valentines day?) and we ate fondue and watched Together Forever. I love cheesy church movies. Best.

 

And that's what I love about missionary work. Spreading LOVE. Making people feel important--because they are. We are ALL children of God and He loves us perfectly.

Love is...

-being stood up by the elders at a dinner appointment with one our male investigators so having the zuster of the senior couple come with us so we could go in and eat with him, and then going home the next night and finding apology brownies in the mailbox from the elders.

-making dinner for young couples who are about to have a baby and eating with them while they teach us African (Pigeon) english. It is english words but it doesn't sound anything like english.

-watching russian conference talks with less actives while eating popcorn (we really like movie nights. thought we'd bring the american tradition of movie and popcorn.)

-lip syncing to african choirs at old members homes while they make pig shoulder for dinner.

 

These little things add up to the big whole of THE BEST (almost 2) YEARS.

 

I love my calling and my city. And I am so thankful for all the prayers of the people back home who are supporting me. I love you guys! I feel your prayers every day. Thank you.

 

LIEFS

xoxo

 

Zuster Hoff

THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!

Title: The Secret of Faith

When I was still in Breda in my first transfer, we had that really cool investigator, Idaho. Remember her? Anyway, I remember when she was having a problem with faith. She just asserted that she didn't have any, and she didn't feel it growning even though she was reading in the Book of Mormon and praying. I thought of my swimteam days and how I would always say "I wont win" or "I probably wont beat my time"or something like that. People would always say "well, not with that attitude, you wont."And see, I never felt that. I could say that before a race and then at the finish of the race, come in first having beated my time. Mostly, what I said the result would be and what the actual result was, never really correllated.

It was in the moments of preparing to teach Idaho that I learned that faith isn't in what we say, it's about what we DO. I could say the whole day "I don't think I'll win/beat my time" but what the actual thing is--do I let that belief or that fear keep me from getting in the water and swimming with all my might? It didn't. And THAT'S how my faith was shown. Not by the words that came out of my mouth, but about the action I did. Faith is often times not manifest in what we say, but what we actually do.

So, now we can fast forward to when I got transferred to Assen. The place that had been closed and re-opened repeatedly. The place that had just about nothing when I got there. My turning point. The place that I learned to work hard so that at the end of the day, I could look back and honestly be able to ask the question "what more could I have done for my vineyard?"

We were biking one day. I think we were on our way home to eat lunch. I was pretty hungry. And we were passing along this stretch where just about everybody I ever there was mean. I had just stopped someone. Gotten rejected. The usual. When I looked up and saw one last man walking. He had a cast looking thing around his ear (come to find out it had been operated on) and he was on his way somewhere. Did I look upon this man and see Assen's next wonderful member of the church? No. Did I feel particularly impressed upon by the spirit to stop this man? No. But did that stop me from "jumping in the water" and "swimming with all my might"? No. And that man made an appointment with us.

When we went by for his appointment, he wasn't home. We called and rescheduled for the day after the next. We went back on that day and the bottom room of that house (he lived in a student house where everybody has their own room but there's a lot of rooms and only one kitchen in the whole house. I have no idea if those exist in the states...but they are SUPER common here) let us in and we went upstairs to find him. Not home. The girl who lived just under him invited us into her room for some water. We taught her a lesson. Gave a book of Mormon. It was really cool. On the way out, we went back to check on him. The thing over his ear was gone, he gave us his cell phone number, and he made another appointment for two weeks out. My birthday. On the way back down, my companion stopped the man who let us in and asked if he wanted to meet with us. We made an appointment with him too.

We went back for an appointment with this man and his wife and little. They agreed to be baptized.It was amazing. And I left that house that one day with more faith that I had stopped the man with the thing on his ear so that I could be lead to that house to teach that college girl and the cute little family. As the time progressed, the man and his wife changed their minds--not wanting to go further with the church, and the college girl didn't have any more contact. But we went back on my birthday to the man on the very top floor to teach the restoration. He was completely new to all religion, so we went slowly, step by step, to introduce him to who Jesus Christ was. It was incredible to see this man so interested and willing to learn and eager to believe in something that he knew could help him--even though he didn't understand what the word prophet meant at this time.

Our next appointment was Christmas Eve. That was the day we made a baptismal date with him. It was so cool! He had remembered so much--he had read the chapter of the Book of Mormon that we recommended THREE times because he didn't understand it, and he had spent some time practicing praying. That weekend, he called to cancel an appointment, so we invited him to church. He said he was scared. He had never been to a church before. But we got him to come. I sat next to him and explained about the sacrament. I was really nervous, I had never done that before with someone completely new to church. But he liked it. And the next week, he came to all three hours! He started cancelling his second appointments in the week which made me really nervous that he wasn't going to make his baptismal date, so that sunday, I fasted. I fasted and prayed that everything would go great. I just wanted him to make it. And that night, I got the transfer call that I was leaving--but only to a city about an hour away.

I was heart broken that I didn't get to see the whole process, but this much I know: on February 8, 2014, the 5 year anniversary of the day I got my patriarchal blessing--which is the very occasion where I decided to serve a mission--I got on a train to go to his baptism. I saw him enter into the gateway of eternal life. I saw him be welcomed into a place that would make him feel belonging. And I cried.

Here there was a man who a month earlier had come to church for the first time ever in his life and was now at home there. Here was a man who on Christmas Eve, didn't know what the word "Savior"meant, and was now having the song Ï believe in Christ" being sung at his baptism. Here was a perfect man--newly washed clean from everything, all ready to begin his new life as a disciple of Jesus Christ. His daughter came. His mom came. His brother came. And the ward came.

And it all started because I had enough faith to jump in the water and swim. And because God knew which meet, event, heat, and lane to put me in. And that, my friends, is the secret of faith.

This week was wonderful--I truly realized what a dream I am living right now. And I am so thankful for that.

Vertrouw. Geloof. En Pixie Stoff!

-Zuster Hoff