So the song says: dream big, as big as the ocean blue, because when you dream it might come true.
the other song says: keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.
then of course some songs say things like a dream is a wish your heart makes.
these are all really good things about dreams.
I
always told everybody that I had two mission dreams. The one was to
serve in Belgium. The other was to train. And now that I'm on my very
last transfer, it is plain to see that neither of those things are going
to happen. And that made me really sad last week because I felt like
coming on my mission, I wasn't ablet o make anything of myself. I feel
like I have loved my mission but that it has gone way too fast and that I
didn't have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do and learn
all the things I wanted to learn and develop into the person I need to
develop into in this phase of my life. Of course progression continues
after the mission, but there are some skills as a missionary that I can
only perfect AS a missionary. And it's been a little disheartening,
especially after leaving a city I thought I was for sure going to stay
in and not having any time to say goodbye.
But
when I got to Zoetermeer I felt so good. It's been a healing process
for sure. But it feels like home here. I know that I don't know these
people and have never met them but they are all so familiar to me. I
feel so at home. the work is going incredibly, the ward is amazing, and
let's be honest, it's probably because the temple is in Zoetermeer, but
there's just an enchantment in this city. And I know I'm supposed to be
here with these people at this time. And I reflected on a time that I
was in Assen many transfers ago and I said that I wanted to end my
mission in Zoetermeer. And I read back to a diary page in my journal
from 7 May 2013 that says "I talked to Zuster Spencer today and she says
she feels we're going to be companions in the field. That would be SO
cool! We would have SO much fun!" And I just think-- dreams do come
true. Maybe they're not the dreams I thought I had. Maybe they aren't
the dreams that I thought I had. But they're the dreams God seeth fit to
grant me. And I am so incredibly thankful and blessed that I am in a
situation where I KNOW that I am where I am supposed to be and with who I
am supposed to be because God is the one who called me here Himself.
And what a blessing it is that I love it.
I
wrote a song about 2 months ago with a chorus that said "I'll stay where
you need me to stay, I remind myself that in Your arms, I'm always
safe, yes, I'm okay. I've got your grace and a small taste of your love.
And if the storms come, as they may, and they rage, and I fall flat on
my face--you're hand I'll take, to get back up and stay. Steadfast I
pray."
I love my Savior and the strength He gives me to bloom where I'm planted.
Love you all!
xoxo
Zuster Hoff
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