I AM .......... coming home! nov 10

Title: I AM.

So this week was good! We had a lot of cancellations and some moments where motivation was a little out of sight, but we fought our way through it and did it well! We had an investigator from  Suriname make us peanut soup, we had some real good lessons, we went to Den Haag one night and split with some of their ward members to look up some members--it was really fun. I got to talking to this lady about my mission and all the things I've learned--like how hard work brings results and how no single missionary has success--we work together to bring salvation to these people and it is all in the Lord's success. I learned through talking it out that the worth of souls really is so great in the sight of God.
And then we had days where all we did was look ups and finding. But it was really cool, on Saturday, we just went out with a few names and addresses and we found some real cool people--everyone we looked up was home, we made 7appointments, and we had some real good conversations. There was this couple we stopped, and we stardted talking about the restoration with them, and the woman said "You can preach really well. You should do something with that." And then the man looks at her and goes "she is!" Haha.

And that's right, I am! How great is my calling!

Well. Only one week to go. Freaky. Well, I'm still in denial.

Tot volgend week!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

I'm going there someday -- oct 20

Title: I'm going there someday...Actually, I went there last week

Title credit: Zuster Spencer. 

So as you may have guessed from the title, last week was TEMPLE CONFERENCE! It was so good! The nice thing about living so close to the temple is that for temple conference, you can get up at the normal time and just have a nice bike ride to the temple. 15 minutes, everyone. It was wonderful. Going to the temple so seldomly really makes it a special thing when the time finally comes around again to go. And it was so good to see my old companions and be able to talk to them and have a wonderful, uplifting time together. After the temple session, we went to the church and had a conference where we learned about studying. Humility time, folks. And before this, actually, all of the people going home had to stand up and give their "dying" testimonies. And this time, I was a part of that group. It was so strange. I realized before I stood up there to give my testimony that I didn't want to sound stupid. I knew that there were going to be about 15 other people who also had to give their testimonies, so it would have to be short, so I brainstormed a few points that I wanted to share and rehearsed it in my head so that it sounded good when I said it. And then I stood up and I said:

I don't feel like this is real. I don't feel like I'm going home soon. And sometimes I have to give myself a reality check and say "okay. I'm going home in 5 weeks." And then I think "five weeks? that's not even any time to do anything." But then I remember when Elder Texiaria came to this mission and gave a conference. He asked "who is the missionary who is going home next?" This one elder raised his hand. Elder Texiaria asked him how many days he had left. The Elder answered "16." And then Elder Texiaria said "imagine the mortal mission of Jesus Christ without the last 16 days." And then I realize that there is still work to do, prayers to pray, and....probably a lot of suffering. On my mission I've really come to know that Jesus Christ is the source of all healing. He has healed me. He can heal you. And He can heal the people you work with. I have really come to learn the difference between trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning to my own understanding. And when I trust in the Lord with all my heart--that's when I see miracles. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

After the conference, I went on exchanges with a sister who had only been in the land for four weeks in Almere. Being with her and hearing her questions and insights, it made me reflect to where I was about 16 months ago. And I saw for the first time how far I had truly come. A year and a half is so short, but it is so much time to learn and grow. She asked me what one of the biggest lessons I've learned is, and I told her that it was prayer. Learning how to pray. When I was in my first city, I knelt down one night to pray, tired of the same old prayer routine and feeling like I was praying just to pray. And so I decided to pray until I felt something. And when I prayed and put my heart and soul into communicating with my Heavenly Father, I felt His reply. I felt His comfort. I felt His approval. I felt His love. And as I continued to pray with purpose and with the expectation that God would give me answers because I was His child and He loved me, He has answered me. He has blessed me. And better yet, He has blessed those I loved, whom I also prayed for. 

I know that this gospel is true, or there would be no logical explanation for the joy I feel in my heart when I share it and when I live it. I love that the Lord hath seeth it fit to put me in the places I have been with the people I have been with. And I love, love, love, love all of it. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

The Extension - oct 27

Title: The Extension

This week was SO GOOD. It's one of those weeks that you just know the spirit guided you to all of the people and through all of the things you did. Looking back on it, it was just good. And now I'm looking at this week that's coming up and it's so weird. In my head, I know that all of the sisters I came into the field with--including my current companion, are going home on Wednesday. But I just cannot register it. I don't believe it. And that's probably because I'm staying. And I can't even imagine going home right now. There is so much work left to do here. And I think back onto the moment I decided to extend. I was inside my apartment and I just wanted to be out--talking to people, visiting people, doing something--but my companion was sick and taking a nap and so I decided to continue writing a song in Dutch to do a little language study. And this song was about the wise men. And as I was studying, and as I was writing, I began to just think a little about my mission and everything--and I realized... I loved being a missionary. And I had been praying lately about extending, putting all of the pros and cons out there and just asking if that's what I needed to do--kind of a little bit hoping that it wasn't because, for one, missions are hard, and two--Halloween. Come on. But I got this swelling, burning, overwhelming feeling in my chest that it was good. And it overflowed out my eyes and I creid and all of the reasons in my head that argued to go home at my regular date had no pull on my heart. And I knew I needed to stay. That song I wrote in Dutch has been a powerful reminder to me to stand as a witness of Christ--because that's why I came here. And a few weeks later, I wrote a song called 'Stay.' (I know...original title, eh?) It's in english, so you'll understand it. And it goes like this:

We often say--I'll go where you want me to go. 

And we ofter hope--that those are places we like also. 

We often say--I'll do what you want me to do.

But the times are all too few that we have the courage to.

And we often say-- "I'll say what you want me to say"

and yet the words...they don't come right away.

But how often do we think--that we are exactly where we're of need?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Let whatever come as it may, yeah those storms may rage as the dirt sprays back in my face

even if that's what I have to take-- I will stay. Steadfast, I pray.

We often think--"I'm not of much use around here"

And we often shed tears and give in to fear.

We let ourselves believe that others are better than we

That's why they're seen--or so it seems. 

And we often feel that everything's a little surreal. 

routinely spinning round the wheel and there's not quite enough time to heal.

But how often do we remember--that He is our greatest mender?

So I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And if the storms come--as they may and they rage--and I fall flat on my face,

Your hand, I'll take to get back up and stay.Steadfast I pray.

Sometimes, let's be honest, we forget that we have the promise

That all along the way--by us, He'll stay. 

So I'll stay where you need me to stay--yeah, I know sometimes I think I've got a better way

but that's okay--I'm not afraid of the hard days anymore.

Yeah I'll stay where you need me to stay yeah I remind myself that in your arms, I'm always safe

I'm okay--I've got your grace and a small taste of your love

And those storms--they have a way of breaking every faint desire to stay

but these are the days to stand back up and stay. Steadfast I pray. 

Steadfast I pray. Steadfast I'll stay. 

It's only three weeks--but it's enough. There is so much that can happen--so many miracles, so many laughs, so many lessons to be learned and so much growth. I am excited to see what it brings. LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN. 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

September 29

Title: Interviews.

So. The weeks are going by really fast and I don't even know what is happening. I guess I'll start with today.

Today was preparation day but we had interviews with President this morning in Den Haag. My companion was talking for like 50 minutes, which means I got to enjoy the company of his wife for those 50 minutes and it was really neat. I told her that I wished I could stay a lot longer on my mission because I feel that there are things that I haven't had time to learn and skills I haven't had time to master and she asked me some really soul searching questions about my desires, about my motivations, and really about my relationship with Christ. She said that we can know, in detail, the sequence and order of the events in Christ's life and in His Atonement. We can know what the Atonement covers and what the enabling aspects are, what the forgiveness and justice and mercy requirements are that it satisfies, and what that means for us and our salvation--but we don't know the full measure of that until we understand that Christ is our friend. It was real cool. Then President's after mission advice for me was to go to the college where the football team has the best win record. Spiritual boost today: acquired.

Since we were in Den Haag, we went to the Haagse Markt, which is apparently the biggest street market in Europe. Cool, eh? Maybe they just say that, but...I believe it. I got some skirts. It was nice.

Also, we had this dinner appointment last night and they made us this Suriname dish called Roti. I don't know how I've made it this long in this country without Roti, but it's a disgrace. It is seriously the best thing ever. And you eat it with your hands. Score.

Well,folks. It's been real. Til next week.

Dag!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

DREAM BIG ! sept 22

Title: Dream Big

So the song says: dream big, as big as the ocean blue, because when you dream it might come true. 

the other song says: keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart. 

then of course some songs say things like a dream is a wish your heart makes. 

these are all really good things about dreams. 

I always told everybody that I had two mission dreams. The one was to serve in Belgium. The other was to train. And now that I'm on my very last transfer, it is plain to see that neither of those things are going to happen. And that made me really sad last week because I felt like coming on my mission, I wasn't ablet o make anything of myself. I feel like I have loved my mission but that it has gone way too fast and that I didn't have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do and learn all the things I wanted to learn and develop into the person I need to develop into in this phase of my life. Of course progression continues after the mission, but there are some skills as a missionary that I can only perfect AS a missionary. And it's been a little disheartening, especially after leaving a city I thought I was for sure going to stay in and not having any time to say goodbye. 

But when I got to Zoetermeer I felt so good. It's been a healing process for sure. But it feels like home here. I know that I don't know these people and have never met them but they are all so familiar to me. I feel so at home. the work is going incredibly, the ward is amazing, and let's be honest, it's probably because the temple is in Zoetermeer, but there's just an enchantment in this city. And I know I'm supposed to be here with these people at this time. And I reflected on a time that I was in Assen many transfers ago and I said that I wanted to end my mission in Zoetermeer. And I read back to a diary page in my journal from 7 May 2013 that says "I talked to Zuster Spencer today and she says she feels we're going to be companions in the field. That would be SO cool! We would have SO much fun!" And I just think-- dreams do come true. Maybe they're not the dreams I thought I had. Maybe they aren't the dreams that I thought I had. But they're the dreams God seeth fit to grant me. And I am so incredibly thankful and blessed that I am in a situation where I KNOW that I am where I am supposed to be and with who I am supposed to be because God is the one who called me here Himself. And what a blessing it is that I love it. 

I wrote a song about 2 months ago with a chorus that said "I'll stay where you need me to stay, I remind myself that in Your arms, I'm always safe, yes, I'm okay. I've got your grace and a small taste of your love. And if the storms come, as they may, and they rage, and I fall flat on my face--you're hand I'll take, to get back up and stay. Steadfast I pray."

I love my Savior and the strength He gives me to bloom where I'm planted. 

Love you all!

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

september 15

Title: I Don't Always See Sunflowers

What happened this week? Whitewash. Stolen bike. Elder Ballard. Blessings. Rotterdam Philharmonic. Baptismal date with Eritrea. Mouse proofed house.

Yep. So The transfer call came yesterday. The transfer call that said we'd be being white washed. Let's get that out of the way right now. My comp is leaving to go home. I am going to Zoetermeer. And my new companion is going to be ZUSTER SPENCER--we've prophesied of our eventual companionship since the MTC, and sure enough, our last transfer, it has come to pass! We're both pretty stoked. 

My bike got stolen. So I'll be moving to my fifth city and my fifth bike. Luckily one of the sisters going home is real happy to give me her bike. I love her. 

Elder Ballard came. It was incredible. I learned so much from him. Like what? You have no time to be anything but great. Teach the message and importance of the Restoration. Make people FEEL your testimony. Make sure they know how to PRAY. Man, that man is an apostle of God, I'll tell you what. And I got to shake his hand! I was the very last one. Best for last, right? :) 

I got a blessing! My first blessing on my mission. I know that the priesthood is real, it helped so much! I usually don't ask for blessings but I did and it was so good! God wants to help us and he is just waiting until we are willing to humble ourselves enough to acknowledge that we cant help ourselves as much as He can. It was wonderful. The priesthood holder said afterwards Ï don't always see sunflowers when I give blessings." It was funny in context. But also cool. 

A couple in our ward are from Russia and they are world famous violin players and they LOVE us so the husband is first chair in the Rotterdam Philharmonic and so they got us tickets AND permission from President to go! It was insane. I ached for my bass again. 

The Eritrean family dad wants to get baptized! They all have hearts of gold. We did an activity with them with footsteps and had them follow the footsteps to the picture of Jesus and on the footsteps were the steps of the gospel--the little girl did it first and when she got to Jesus, she kissed the photo. It was PRECIOUS. I am going to miss them hardcore. 

Aaand we also mouse proofed our house. all our food is in containers and we don't know what is where. So it'll be an adventure for these new sisters coming in. 

I love you friends! Have a great week! 

xoxo

Zuster Hoff

September 8

Title: Nothing is Veilig!

Nothing is safe!

Well I don't have that much time this week to tell all the things I wanna tell but GUESS WHAT. We went stealth ninja style to catch some mice and using the trashcantilted on it's side, we did catch a mouse. We thought we heard her so we lifted it up normally and peeked in and you know what we found? Sure enough,  a mouse. AND THEN ALSO HER FIVE BABIES THAT SHE JSUT HAD. So we took out the trash (yeah, companion's idea, I don't know what I would've done differently but now they're out of the house at least...) and cleaned the whole kitched because nothing is veilig, and after we cleaned everything the mice could have touched...we sat on the couch for a few minutes and then we saw it....another mouse came out onto the counter. And then there was one under the fridge. THERE IS A MOUSE ARMY. SO we stayed up trying to catch the others, but with no luck. These mice are like super trained or something. I remembered that once I caught a mouse using duct tape so we put that all over and the mice avoided that, too! So it seems like this mouse in the house saga is to be continued...and until then, NOTHING IS VEILIG! 

In other news, we set a baptismal date with Curicao! He's the coolest! We also brought the elders to give Our Eritrean family blessings. It is so sweet because even though they don't really understand english or dutch, they are so sensitive to the spirit. They speak the language of the spirit, and that is the most important. We've also been doing some really cool things like going to cheese farms and windmills and other fun places before my comp goes home. It's been a party. Today we're going to that place where i's like Holland in miniature. It's called Maduradam or something. It's gonna be really cool.

We also had this really cool miracle this week where we were knocking doors like all dat and this lady belled us in without knowing who we were and then when she heard that we were missionaries she invited us right on in and we taught her the restoration and she said 6 weeks ago she left her church and has been looking for a new one and wants to come to our church and has been asking God and that we were sent from him. She said she'd come to church and it was a really cool miracle! then she called two days later ad dropped us. 

Such is the life. 

And it's WONDERFUL. I wouldn't trade it for anythin--and I ask the Lord everynight ....FOR JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE! 

That's today! 

I love you all!

Zuster Hoff